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Israel is the only country in the world where…

September 1, 2010

Efraim Kishon, a Holocaust survivor who became one of Israel’s best-known humorists, has the following humorous piece attributed to him.

  • Israel is a country surrounded on all sides by enemies, but the people’s headaches are caused by the neighbors upstairs.
  • Israel is the only country in the world where the coffee is already so good that Starbucks went bankrupt trying to break into the local  market.
  • Israel is one of the few places in the world where the sun sets into the Mediterranean Sea .
  • Israel is the only country in the world whose soldiers eat three sets of salads a day, none of which contain any lettuce (which is not really  a food), and where olives ARE a food and even a main course in a meal, rather than something one tosses into a martini.
  • Israel is the only country in the world where one is unlikely to dig a cellar without hitting ancient archaeological artifacts.
  • Israel is the only country in the world where the leading writers in the country take buses.
  • Israel is the only country in the world where the graffiti is in  Hebrew.
  • Israel is the only country in the world that has a National Book  Week, during which almost everyone attends a book fair and buys books.
  • Israel is a country where the same drivers who cuss you and flip you  the bird will immediately pull over and offer you all forms of help if  you look like you need it.
  • Israel is the only country in the world with bus drivers and taxi drivers who read Spinoza and Maimonides.
  • Israel is the only country in the world where no one cares what rules say when an important goal can be achieved by bending them.
  • Israel is the only country in the world where reservists are bossed  around and commanded by officers, male and female, younger than their own children.
  • Israel is the only country in the world where “small talk” consists of loud, angry debate over politics and religion.
  • Israel is the only country in the world where the ultra-Orthodox Jews beat up the police and not the other way around.
  • Israel is the only country in the world where inviting someone “out for a drink” means drinking cola, coffee or tea..
  • Israel is the only country in the world where bank robbers kiss the mezuzah as they leave with their loot.
  • Israel is one of the few countries in the world that truly likes and  admires the United States.
  • Israel is the only country in the world that introduces applications  of high-tech gadgets and devices, such as printers in banks that print  out your statement on demand, years ahead of the United States and  decades ahead of Europe .
  • Israel is the only country in the world where everyone on a flight  gets to know one another before the plane lands. In many cases, they  also get to know the pilot and all about his health or marital problems.
  • Israel is the only country in the world where no one has a foreign  accent because everyone has a foreign accent.
  • Israel is the only country in the world where people cuss using dirty  words in Russian or Arabic because Hebrew has never developed them.
  • Israel is the only country in the world where patients visiting  physicians end up giving the doctor advice.
  • Israel is the only country in the world where everyone strikes up conversations while waiting in lines.
  • Israel is the only country in the world where people call an attaché case a “James Bond” and the “@” sign is called a “strudel”.
  • Israel is the only country in the world where there is the most mysterious and mystical calm ambiance in the streets on Yom Kippur, which cannot be explained unless you have experienced it.
  • Sunsets in Jerusalem are gorgeous every evening.
  • Israel is the only country in the world where people read English, write Hebrew, and joke in Yiddish.
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6 Comments leave one →
  1. September 1, 2010 8:47 am

    Funny. What’s the link to the original source?

  2. September 1, 2010 9:10 am

    James, it’s a collection 0f various Efraim Kishon-attributed quips, found in various sources. This particular list was sent to me by a friend. Some of the above and many additional ones appear in this Arutz Sheva article: http://www.israelnationalnews.com/Articles/Article.aspx/3608

  3. September 1, 2010 3:36 pm

    [attaché case a “James Bond” ] I have been known to be so dense that jokes fly right over my head. But, do they really call them that?

  4. September 1, 2010 6:50 pm

    Mike, apparently it got its name from the 60′s James Bond movie From Russia with Love and it featured an array of gadgetry that would become standard as the films continued. The Attaché would save Bond’s life a number of times throughout the film. (I guess James Bond must have been popular in Israel too). The case was so popular, it was made into a super popular toy as well. Check this out: http://www.irememberjfk.com/mt/2006/12/the_james_bond_attache_case.php

  5. September 2, 2010 8:47 am

    I had a James Bond case when I was a kid…never saw a James Bond movie until I was older, though.

  6. Jo Ann permalink
    September 13, 2010 8:22 pm

    I don’t know of any other country where volunteers want to serve in their Military. Pay for the flight to go serve in a tank base or a paratrooper base. Is this only in ISRAEL?. The IDF so considerate of those volunteers and wanting to educate them there in the military about ISRAEL. Classes, group events, field trips to political places. This I only really know about ISRAEL today. Yet they except touristy people into their military and they actually wear the ISRAELI uniform.

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